A really bad fortnight

As anyone reading this blog has probably realized, I’m not really good at making regular posts. I do apologize, however I’m also at a loss sometimes what to post or, more than likely, real life has exploded in some way so my thinking isn’t on writing.

This last couple of weeks have exploded and I spent most of October so far an emotional wreck. Writing has been the last thing on my mind.

I won’t get into details, but the events revolved around ill news about the health of kith and kin and the final stripping away of any loyalty to the company I worked for–all on the same day. Fear, anger and guilt is a volatile mix and really doesn’t make me creative. It doesn’t make me want to communicate with anyone else, because until I deal with my own emotions, I can’t deal with being social or informative in any way. I was lucky not to get written up at work. For that, I can’t really apologize. It’s the way I’m wired and when I try to get around it, it gets worse.

There’s an adage among writers that one much write every day to consider oneself a writer. I’ve always thought that was a giant crock of horse-hockey. If a story burns in your soul, then taking a few days or weeks to deal with a real life problem isn’t going to dampen it. The story will be there when my ducks are back in their row (well, as well as they ever are).

And, frankly, if it isn’t when I’m steady again, then it probably wasn’t a story I was truly interested in telling. Ah, well. It’s happened before, it’ll likely happen again. It’s just something I accept about myself.

For instance, this book I’m trying to finish (when I’m not writing Children of the Vortex stories)–I’ve had to put it aside many times–at least ten that I can remember easily–because my life bounced between Limbo, Purgatory and Hell and back again. Yet, I always came back to Legend’s End. The story still burned in my soul. I wanted to figure out the mythic question I’d posed myself (What happens if the Reborn King is murdered on the eve of battle?). For the first time in a very long time, I really like all the characters, even the villains. I might have to read everything I have to remember all the details, but the lust for the storytelling is still there.

So there may be time between blog posts. I don’t have a whole host of them stockpiled to be posted when I hit one of these dry periods. I see this blog more as a (somewhat one-sided) discussion born of what’s happening in my writing life at the moment. I suppose I could wax poetic about what I’m working on, and maybe I will. But not tonight.

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1 Comment

  1. Deleyan, I’m so sorry to read that you’ve been having difficulties. For what it’s worth, I agree with you about the “rule” that a writer has to write everyday come hell or high water. We’re human beings, not machines. I hope things start looking up for you soon.

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